Despite considerable research on domestic violence (DV) in general, little is known about the very earliest stages of relationships that later become violent. This qualitative, grounded-theory study addresses that knowledge gap by exploring the earliest warning signs of intimate partner violence. It focuses on the time period from when participants first met their partner through one month after the relationship became exclusive–the time period when things usually seem wonderful and the foundation is established for the later relationship.

The study included 12 participants (five male perpetrators, six female victims, and one gay male victim), but 16 cases: four participants (three female victims and one male victim) had recoupled into nonviolent relationships and were interviewed about those relationships to provide comparison cases. Participants were recruited from local programs for DV victims and perpetrators; they completed an extensive information packet, primary interviews, and follow-up interviews.

The overriding research questions investigated were the following: What do participants perceive were early warning signs of abuse displayed by themselves and their partners? How were these rationalized away early in the relationship? and What do participants believe made them vulnerable to an abusive relationship? Interviews were transcribed, entered into NVivo for analysis, and within- and cross-case analyses were performed.

A number of recurring themes were identified, including disrespectful as well as intensely positive behaviors and feelings, and similarities in early emotional, verbal, and sexual experiences. Participants rationalized away the warning signs through self-blame, partner-blame, and redirecting their focus onto seeing the relationship or behavior in the most positive light.

The results were distilled into two conclusions. One is the Earliest Warning Signs of Intimate Partner Violence (EWS-IPV) model, which shows how the common EWS themes interact with each other and with the rationalizations and vulnerability or risk factors. The other is that, because warning signs depend so much on intensity and/or context, emotional awareness and being able to trust one's gut responses are critical in enabling individuals to recognize red flags.